Love and the Junior Gazette

It's hard work, being a totally nice guy what with being nice and everything and not seeing anything for it. All while some mouthy American and a moron with big shoulders get all the pretty girls. Not that you just act all nice in order to GET pretty girls. Come to think of it, that wouldn't be very nice at all, would it? It's the sort of thing that might make you scream like an entitled creepo when things don't go the way you were hoping to, with all your well-rehearsed "nice guy" lines.

In other news, here's an episode of Press Gang. It's called LOVE AND THE JUNIOR GAZETTE.

The Week and Pizza

It's seven slices of Junior Gazette action as we see a typical week in the lives of our youngsters. There's kissing, someone nearly dies, Colin cons some people and Lynda works harder than she should. Like we said, a typical week.

Join Chris, Alirio and a mysterious high-pitched whine that we couldn't get rid of in post, as they talk fashion, gore-balls, gerbils, Goebbels, the Gorbals and Fay Masterson.

It's THE WEEK AND PIZZA

Going Back to Jasper Street

Lynda starts dreaming of a woodcarving from her youth that she simply could not have owned, which starts her on an unusual mental quest into the past where she encounters Madame Fanny La Fan, old-fashioned bins attached to lampposts, and some bullies, including future superstar Steven Szczebiot.

Colin and Spike's attempt to manipulate Ruby Grogan into falling for Colin comes unstuck due to them being idiots, and Sam's attempt to seduce Kenny comes unstuck due to him being an idiot.

Join Chris, Alirio and special guest Rose as they follow Lynda (they always follow Lynda) while she's GOING BACK TO JASPER STREET.

Picking Up the Pieces

Chess, eh? It was a weirdly big deal in the second half of the eighties. Karpov and Kasparov faced off, before going on to spar with computers, giving them the necessary skills to one day plot our destruction, and Tim Rice teamed up with the hairier bits of ABBA for the musical Chess, a rip-roaring tale of international intrigue and bloody chess.

It's at the tail-end of this fascination with the game that we find ourselves in the midst of an unlikely love story between a young genius and the intellectual titan that is Frazz Davis. Elsewhere in the office it's goodbye to Kenny's late night rumpo with pavement artiste extraordinaire, Jenny Eliot, and Spike gets into trouble because a wall said something rude about his girlfriend. After a tumultuous week like this, we'll surely all be left PICKING UP THE PIECES.

Breakfast at Czar's

It's all change at the Junior Gazette. It's goodbye to Charlie Creed-Miles, it's see you later to Lucy Benjamin. Meanwhile, at the arrivals we have Rosie Marcel and the very surprising Gabrielle Anwar to keep us busy.

However, the more things change, the more they stay the same and - once again - the Junior Gazette gives over nearly its entire print real-estate to a single item. A single item that, once again, nearly gets them closed down. Meanwhile, Colin is attacking a mysterious box, Sophie and Laura are attacking some glorious hair and some fashion choices are attacking our beautiful, beautiful eyes in BREAKFAST AT CZAR'S

Shouldn't I Be Taller?

Lynda has gone and a clearly unriggable election puts Colin in charge of the Junior Gazette which he promptly transforms into the new look go-faster Gaz for go-faster people. He offers prizes, advertising features & interviews with Nostradamus and the new, lax approach to journalistic integrity and working hours wins over most of the newsroom. However, the hardcore, principal cast all agree that, despite suffering from PTSD, they should go on an exciting mission to get Lynda back rather than allow her to process the horrific events of less than a week earlier and slap her out of wondering: Can I be different? Could I be better? SHOULDN'T I BE TALLER?

Monday-Tuesday

Tuesday is cancelled. Especially so for David Jefford, the Golden Jerk who tries to bring down the Junior Gazette in retaliation for them not offering him a job on the writing team. Colin tries hard not to mention the war in his attempts to woo Ethel Stuttgart and Spike tries to change the subject. All in a day or two's work for the Junior Gazette on MONDAY-TUESDAY.